Please place a ban on one ply toilet paper it's rough and we as Americans should not be subject to that tourture

One ply TP is rough and hurts our bottoms if one ply TP was to be banned it would reduce healthcare costs for Americans by reduceing the need to see a doctor for treatments for any problems caused by rough one ply TP. One ply TP also as Americans violates our human rights as it is likened to a crude form of torture that no American should be subject too please consider my petition as I think this would make America an even better place to live