Few abuses to human rights are better documented or more visible than the Fox Network's decision to employ Troy Aikman and Joe Buck as football announcers.
Every week of the football season, Americans are subject to relentless, unceasing, ennui-inducing commentary that has single-handedly cured more cases of insomnia than Ambien. Aikman's jaw-droppingly one-sided homerism is overshadowed only by his haircut, which isn't fit for your average house pet. Buck appears to suffer from an allergy to profundity, and his performance forces us to consider exhuming his father to replace him in the booth. Sign our petition to coerce the Murdoch enterprise to replace their presumptive announcers with a pair of commentators who actually have a pulse!