Dear ABC.
I mean President Obama.
With this golden age of technology and global connectivity comes a oft forgotten responsibility of self censorship and perspective.
I, like many other global citizens have observed far too many a stupid opinion being voiced in the form of a whitehouse.org petition.
This petition requests that the United States congress puts an immediate stop to this harmful, time wasting practice. Too many valuable hours, internets and keystrokes are wasted on such petitions, which could instead be better spent sharing and promoting cat memes. This is in clear violation of the United States constitution, specifically chapters 4.1.6 & 2.3-7.
Kindest regards,
The world.