These are uncertain times in America. The economy is struggling. Unemployment is just now getting back to 2008 levels. Several new American Idol judges. The Orioles made the playoffs.
However, there is one threat that IS certain, and it loves you for your brains.
Of course, I'm talking about zombies.
There might be a zombie in the next room RIGHT NOW. According to howmanyofme.com, there could be 116 Zombies in the US AT THIS MOMENT. I don't see why that number won't grow; they have a certain charisma.
The US needs to take this issue head-on. By supporting a more active lifestyle, our great citizens would be healthier, allowing us to more easily escape the clutches of any undead assailants we might or might not face.
Do the right thing, White House. Protect against the undead menace.