The Emperor's perch shall be carved out of a mountain side on the Eastern border of Washington facing eastward so he can watch the sun bow majestically before him. There, all the lions and tigers of the galaxy shall be kept as warrior guards to protect our dear Emperor. Once a year every being of the universe must bow at the mighty loins of the Emperor or he shall smite thee.
Any who chose to rebel shall be placed before the Emperor's guards with a blooded steak tied to their midriff. All shall be ruled, and all shall submit.