Procure a nice Island for Secessionists where they can create their own country while the rest of us progress.

This is a petition to oust all those bitter and angry Conservatives and Obstructionists who are signing Secession Petitions. Obviously these people are no longer happy with the country they currently live in and are convinced they can do better, so let's help them by finding them their own island and then tossing them onto it.
The can call it Teaaggeria, Conservamerika, Palinsville, Bibbleville, 1950 Land what ever but let's move them out and the rest of the US on.