Prohibit current and future importation of Canadian weather into the United States and sink the "Alberta Clipper."

The frozen citizens of the United States urge the Obama Administration to end the importation of frigid Canadian weather systems into the nation by any means necessary, up to and including the construction of giant fans to keep that cold crap up north of the border where it belongs.

We're freezing down here, and it's because the nation has left the door open to Canada for too long.

We will continue to welcome and embrace our Canadian brothers and sisters into the United States, and remain the closest of friends, partners and allies. But their weather has to stay at home, eh?