The institution is at risk. A presidential candidate prefers décor that’s… well, schlocky. Please save the White House from over-blinging. We ask that you restrict gold used for decoration:
Gold should only cover 5% max of any piece of furniture or trophy wife.
Accessories like hot tubs, tanning beds and Margarita machines shouldn’t be gold, nor should they be allowed in the Oval Office.
No gold for fixtures including switches, outlets, faucets and toilets. Especially not golden toilets. Because that’s gross. Also, there’s a danger that Rand Paul might try linking our currency to a toilet. And that’s Finance Committee Chair Orrin Hatch’s job.
Gold shouldn’t decorate the boxing rings, MMA octogons or Thunderdomes where issues of justice and/or policy decisions will eventually be decided.
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