Joe from Philly (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/justice-missouri-secession/FM7...) seems to doubt the patriotism of an entire state due to the wild, speculative and subversive chatter of a small yet rowdy portion of the population of the state.
As others have noted, Pizza is one of our nation's true resources. Nothing could dampen this talk of treason quicker than an SPPP (Socialized Pizza Provision Program). Bringing this program to the nation, including Missourah, would help hush the vocal and divisive parties that seek to grind the progress of this country to a halt. Free Pizza, available to all at any time, would truly prevent future treasonous actions here or any other state in the Union.
Either that, or just give us a pizza party too. Please. Just no provel.