Provide unlimited carrots for sexually active Americans.

For too long, sexually-active Americans have been living their lives without Vitamin C (carrot) in their diets. This may be a consequence of lack of funding for the little-known FCA, or Federal Carrot Administration. We Americans thus petition the government to increase the funding of the FCA to 100% of the federal budget, and through the FCA, distribute infinite amounts of carrots to sexually-active Americans.