Put Joel Gordon's Portrait on the "Heads" Side of the New Trillion Dollar Coin

We believe that Joel Gordon's portrait should be used on the "heads" side of the new Trillion Dollar Coin for the following reasons:
1. He would pose for free, thereby not increasing our national debt.
2. He's not too ugly.
3. This is definitely the closest Joel Gordon will ever get to a trillion dollars.
4. As a regular user of vending machines Joel Gordon knows the value of coins.
5. While Joel has never done anything really heroic he also hasn't screwed up too much.
6. Joel is amenable to sharing the "tails" side with whatever you want to put there.
7. Enough already with the President-on-a-coin thing. You've overdone that one.
8. Joel Gordon is willing to show you his birth certificate.
9. Joel Gordon's mother is elderly and he may not have many more chances to make her proud