Since the dawn of man, the arc of human communication has bent toward convenience, succinctness, and immediacy. From the infancy of language to cuneiform to personal messengers, on to Alexander Graham Bell and Guglielmo Marconi, those wizards and pioneers of wired and wireless communication, through to today and the advent of social media, we as a society have come to directly correlate advancement with communication technology with advancement of civilization as a whole.
We, that is, except for one P. William Stoney. I hereby petition the Government of these United States to pressure Patrick into the reopening of his Facebook Timeline for the pleasure and profit of those who hold him dear.