WHEREAS, sentient wax mannequin/internet construct James Franco has mutated into a far more virulent strain of gadfly than ever originally intended, with capacities for passive-aggressive peacocking far beyond our control, and
WHEREAS, it's only a matter of time before he tries to say he wants to be a whale whisperer or some BS like that, and
WHEREAS, he's probably the kind of jerk who sits around staring at dollar bills & telling you the REAL story behind them, and
WHEREAS, we don't know how else to get in touch with him,
THEREFORE, we the undersigned ask that all US currency be redisigned to include the phrase "NOBODY ASKED YOU, JAMES FRANCO".
{*Rider - And also to replace all the presidents' pictures on the $1, $5, $10, $20 & $100 with BABY(!) pictures of the boys from 1D. ;-P }