We as a nation have endured and experienced cases of "The Mondays", "Humpdays" and "Thursday Blues" for far too long. This petition requests that the administration step in to aid the people in this plight.
General measure of success include fewer social media posts inquiring why the current day is indeed "not Friday", declaring that "Friday cannot come soon enough" or expressing the desire for more days allocated for recreation (also referred to as "Fundays"). A concrete suggestion of this petition is a federal mandate requiring Happy Hours to be offered on a continual basis at local watering holes.