Dear President Obama,
For too long, we've heard news sories that poodles aren't dangerous. That they're harmless show dogs. That, at worst, their incessant bark is worse than their bite. But one day, my mom hurt herself on poodles. She stepped in a puddle of poodle urine in the kitchen and broke her knee. Therefore, we, the American People, request that you immediately introduce legislation to regulate poodles. We all saw that photo of you with a poodle on Google. You did not look like you want to be near poodles. Us too! While soldiers are falling in battle to arrows to the knee, my own mother fell to poodle urine to the knee at home. No flat surface is safe. Whose mother will be next? We say NO to oodles of poodle violence! PLEASE BAN POODLES THANK YOU SINCERELY The American People