Today, February 21st, 2013 a date which will live in infamy, the fans of the TMNT were suddenly and deliberately attacked by Michael Bay. The fans were at peace with him and, at the solicitation of Paramount, were still in conversation with him looking toward the maintenance of peace on the internet. Indeed, two hours after he had announced casting Megan Fox in the role of April O’Neil, the twitter ambassador to the fans delivered to us a nonsensical question and answer in Japanese. And while this reply seemed useless, it contained no threat or hint of intelligence.
We ask that the office of the President declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Michael Bay on Thursday, February 21st, 2013, a state of war has existed between all fans everywhere and Michael Bay.