Hello people of the internet. Today I would like to enact this petition, so that we might change the name of Episode IV: A New Hope, to Episode IV: Han Shot First, a much more fitting and descriptive title. As we all certainly know, Han Solo, a scruffy looking nerf-herder and galactic smuggler did indeed fire his DL-44 blaster first. By changing the name of the movie itself, we can finally put to rest this age old quarrel, and accept the truth. So I urge you, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, not to be a foot note on the wrong side of history. Don’t wait too long to be right. Help us right the wrongs of George Lucas, and his refusal to leave the original trilogy alone. Thank you.
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