The United States Navy is the most feared and respected naval power in the world, yet the unfortunate truth is that the names our battleships bear do not sufficiently reflect the might of US sea power. Names like the USS Missouri simply aren't intimidating.
What we need is a figure that inspires awe and respect in all who view him. That figure is Nicolas Cage. Renowned for his insanity on the silver screen, Nicolas Cage is the perfect symbol to represent the lethal weapon that is a United States battleship. I propose we take the opportunity to rename one US Navy Battleship the USS Wicker Man. The name alone is substantially more frightening than any of the current designations.
Sign the petition!
Sign for Cage!