RECOGNIZING that Sen. Ted Cruz always looks like a smug jerk who just pissed his pants and is trying to play it off cool.
HOPING that publicly shaming him for his obnoxious ways will cause him to drop out of the election.
AFFIRMING that "Pissman Smughole" is the most descriptive name for Sen. Ted Cruz.
We the undersigned petition for a federal law forcing Sen. Ted Cruz to legally change his name to Pissman Smughole.