Require Federal licenses for people to handle frozen items in order to prevent intentional acts of violence.

Whereas, acts of domestic violence, assault, and murder continue to occur by use of frozen objects such as fish and armadillos (Google search "man beat woman to death with frozen fish"), I do hereby request Congress to pass legislation regulating who may be licensed to handle frozen goods in order to prevent such acts of violence against our fellow man. Each household owning a freezer will need to apply for such license or hire a fully licensed professional frozen handler or face penalties determined by law.