After reading the White House response to the the Death Star petition, it is immensely comforting that the Administration does not support blowing up planets.
However, it is disturbing that the Administration cannot keep from blowing up children with drone strikes.
Therefore, in the interest of world peace, we respectfully request that the administration direct that all drones be retrofitted with the marshmallow cannons with which President Obama is so adept.
We believe the surviving children in Pakistan and Afghanistan and elsewhere -- children whose only exposure to the USA from infancy is secondhand via rubble and funerals -- will be less likely to grow up to become USA-hating terrorists if we drop sweets rather than bombs.
They might even grow up to become scientists instead.