Dear Mr. President,
For too long Americans have been deprived of a cat in the White House. Dogs have monopolized America's First Families for 11 long years, like corporations, killing the simple mom-and-pop shop pleasures of napping on Churchill's bust, or scratching at the Reagan rug in the Oval Office.
In the spirit of our dearly departed First Feline Socks (responsible for 22 million jobs and a budget surplus), we peacefully request the return of the elegance and sophistication of a kitty to our First Home, while Bo poops in the garden.
Sir, with so many dangly curtains and nooks, our Founding Fathers intended for a cat to reside within the residence, if only to yowl in the background as you take your 3AM call.