It is my firm belief that imprisoning Mr. Trump within straw effigy is the best chance we have to restore prosperity to the land, deter wrathful spirits, and ensure a bountiful harvest by appeasing Celtic gods. To support this claim, Mr. Trump meets all criteria for "Wicker Man" sacrifice: 1. He must come of his own free will, with 2. "the power of a king" (self proclaimed), 3. is a virgin and 4. is a fool.
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