In a recent Internet poll sponsored by Hasbro Inc., the iron token, a cherished element of the enduring board game Monopoly, was voted out of existence and replaced with a cat token.
The Internet shows a clear bias towards cats, and this petition seeks not to eliminate the feline playing piece, but rather to Save the Iron.
Irons are a symbol of American pride and hard work. We must not let ourselves to decline into a rumpled nation, incapable of and/or unwilling to employ the most basic of household appliances. For once we allow that to happen, we will become a nation that accepts mediocrity in all forms of our public and private lives.
For that reason I call upon our citizens to rise up against wrinkles and Save the Iron!