to sell the state of Texas to the country of Mexico in exchange for 100 pesos, a quesadilla, and the Baja Peninsula.

We, the "reasonable" people of the United States, hereby express our disgust in Texas for their recent petition to secede from the United States due to the results of the recent presidential election. Because of their acts of sabotage by providing Presidential candidates who destroy economy and manipulate Christians into supporting wars on false pretenses (the Bush family, for instance) and their human rights abuses (such as executing those who are mentally retarded and/or under age at the time of their crime), however, we believe that it is best if Texas were to leave the union peacefully, and expeditiously. Understanding that we the people have invested much in Texas, however, we believe a trade to Mexico, rather than secession, is the most appropriate way to handle this.