The United States of America is a glorious country filled with promise and opportunity. Some individuals have taken it upon themselves to stain the 2012 election with hypocrisy. After months of claiming to know the definition of a real American, citizens of some states have decided that they would no longer like to be a part of our union. They are saddened by the outcome of one of our fundamental rights - the right to vote. Instead of accepting the outcome, as was intended by the truly real Americans: our founding fathers, these individuals would rather secede.
This is most evident in the State of Texas. Instead of granting the petition to restore the Republic of Freedonia, I offer a counter proposal: sell the state to Mexico. Just think, Mr. President, mad cash money...
(Pst, it's satire)
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