It is well established by today's greatest minds that the next step in human evolution is the transition from Earth-bound to interplanetary civilization. However, early expeditions will likely be a one-way trip. Who among us will make this extraordinary sacrifice? What kind of person is capable of success?
We The People nominate Donald Trump.
Consider: who better to lead our pilgrimage to the Red Planet than our favorite orange demagogue? If the expedition leads to First Contact, who better to determine Earth's fate than the Great Negotiator?
With his vast personal wealth, state support, and selfless dedication to fellow humans, our best and last hopes rest in Donald and his tiny vessel, Trumpnik 1.
Please, for all of our sakes, sign the petition and send the Donald on his way.