With a lawsuit pending against the president, we feel that the political situation in Washington, D.C. has become untenable. We feel that the most reasonable course of action is to appoint John Boehner as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. He can travel south to the Wall to defend against incursions by foreign invaders and bring his compatriots with him, particularly those who seem so ready to fight against a wave of undocumented immigrants. Since legislation is no longer viable in this Congress, we say that these politicians put their words into deeds and defend our borders, swearing an oath:
"I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch."