Jack Bauer is a true American. He has risked life and limb for the American people to keep them safe from terrorist scum so they can enjoy their liberty and freedom, like enjoy a lap dance for $20 a song or buying their 27th AR-15 to mow down schoolchildren.
A true American hero, Jack Bauer made a huge sacrifice and turned himself over to the Russians. No one knows what fate awaits him, but it's probably not good... for the Russians. We Americans owe Jack Bauer a tremendous debt for his service.
It's totally unnecessary, but the United States should send the military to rescue Jack Bauer, even though he could probably escape Russia with a pistol, two sticks of gum, an Ace of Spades playing card and a Sony Walkman.



