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Stage a rescue operation to get Jack Bauer out of Russia

Created by E.L. on July 15, 2014

Jack Bauer is a true American. He has risked life and limb for the American people to keep them safe from terrorist scum so they can enjoy their liberty and freedom, like enjoy a lap dance for $20 a song or buying their 27th AR-15 to mow down schoolchildren.

A true American hero, Jack Bauer made a huge sacrifice and turned himself over to the Russians. No one knows what fate awaits him, but it's probably not good... for the Russians. We Americans owe Jack Bauer a tremendous debt for his service.

It's totally unnecessary, but the United States should send the military to rescue Jack Bauer, even though he could probably escape Russia with a pistol, two sticks of gum, an Ace of Spades playing card and a Sony Walkman.

Homeland Security & Defense
Foreign Policy
Civil Rights & Equality
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