We the people of the great City of Chicago not so cordially demand that one Stephen Tyrone Colbert host the CBS "Late Show" in our fair city. An act we deem not only good for Stephen personally but for the economic and comedic benefit of the City of Chicago and the greater Midwest region. Our fans are more loyal, dedicated, and downright in love with comedy then the people of the people of that town otherwise known as New York. We own comedy. Just ask Ditka how loyal we are. We'll support even if you suck. Just ask the Cubs. We will not take no for an answer, we vote early, we vote often, and the guy who runs the joint is called boss. You are advised not to defy our wishes or demands.
Sincerely,
The People of Chicago