It's come to our attention that Hollywood is in the process of remaking the John Carpenter classic Big Trouble in Little China, with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as the lead. Although Dwayne Johnson has proven to be an excellent actor we believe this to be a gross misjudgement on the part of the powers that be. The original movie, with Kurt Russell as Jack Burton, is a classic and needs no improving.
"Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president. "
~ Jack Burton
We're calling on you Mr. President, please put a stop to such nonsensical endeavors. There can be only one Jack Burton - and that is Kurt Russell.
Thank you.