Dear Pres. Obama,
Please use your power to stop Zach Braff from making Garden State II...or whatever the h_@! he's calling it. We didn't actually watch the whole Kickstarter video, it was too Zach Braffy.
We are allied to stand against Zach Braff in his role as Producer, Director and Star of the upcoming sequel to Garden State. Actually, if he tries to do any one of those three things: produce, direct, star...it's gonna suck, so we want to try to stop him. You can help us Mr. President, you have hollywood influence and drones.
Also, it's unfair for Zach Braff to hold our country hostage and demand a $2M ransom on Kickstarter in return for not making an even worse movie than the already destined to be terrible Garden State II...or whatever the h_@! he's calling it.
Please help us.