A terrible affliction affects tens of millions of men every day, with a tragic effect on friends and family around them, unable to provide the required level of 7 * 24 care.
They suffer from incurable SPS – Small Penis Syndrome. The only treatment is to own and discharge large phallic objects, guns; often causing arousal and “Premature Discharge”, with frequent deaths to women and children. Sadly, many women also have SPS.
Just because 30,000 preventable deaths occur every year, it should not deny the rights of SPS sufferers. We therefore believe that the second amendment should read :
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people with Small Penis Syndrome, to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed”.