support, as the government's primary function, the research and efforts required to bring about the Zombie Apocalypse.

The end times are not close enough. We only have so long to live, and if any of us wish to shoot a zombie in the head, we must start the research now.
The ability to create zombies is out of reach under our current system. Our government must fully support our goals in order to reach them.
This petition is intended to give our government the proper direction, and secure our future.
Incidentally, this petition will also prove that people care a great deal more about a funny joke on the internet than putting forth any serious effort toward government change.
Also Barack Obama must concede on live T.V. that Robert Strength II is more badass than anyone, and present Robert Strength II with the Medal of Badassery, which will never be given to any other person.