For the longest time, the American people have had to live under the constant threat of audible terrorism by the collective hands of try-hard rock stars Nickelback and Avril Lavigne. With the recent union of one of the members of Nickelback, and the aforementioned woman of poor musical ambitions, they have subsequently created a whole new medley of terrors unto the innocent citizens of the United States.
We, the people, are undeserving of this cruelty, and we must stand together against these domestic threats against our ears and our children's ears. Their marital coalition cannot be broken by the meager hands of the common folk. What we can do, however, is unite against these terrorist forces and refuse them the right to procreation.
We must unite to create a better future for our young