Whereas there is a clear, imminent threat to America from the Mormons, we, the People of the United States, petition that the US Government take immediate military action upon the Salt Lake, Utah Mormon stronghold.
For many reasons, stated below, we believe that the Mormons are building a superweapon, capable of annihilating all non-Mormon life on Earth, underneath their Salt Lake stronghold. This suspicion stems from reasons such as:
-All Mormons are rich
-They are too nice
-Multiple wives, obviously for repopulation after the Mormopocalypse
-Their Jesus Fanfiction
-Their spreading of evil lies
Furthermore, Mormons are guilty of:
-Consipring with Mega-Satan
-Threatening the Pope
-Threatening Jesus
-Threatening Personal Liberty and Public Safety
-Being Evil
Thank you for your concern.