In the (almost as) great country of Canada, the people roam, happy and free. They are delighted by the joys of hockey, the mystery of moose, the absolute bliss that is the liquid gold, maple syrup, and most importantly, enjoy the crispy, salty, heavenly goodness that are All-Dressed, and Ketchup potato chips.
It is our responsibility as Americans to enforce our freedom to, no, our RIGHT to experience these hidden treasures of the world.
President Obama, we want to no longer face the cruel, inhumane, unjust practice of prohibiting Americans from this delight.
We want flavor.
We are serious.
We are hungry.
We are the American public, and we need you.