We the People, in order to protect an American Icon, hereby request that the Administration of Barack Obama use any and all Federal resources to prevent actor Ben Affleck from attempting to play the role of Batman in an upcoming Hollywood film.
Batman is an American Icon. Ben Affleck is a horrible actor. Allowing this atrocity to proceed further may even be considered by future generations as a crime against humanity.
I'm sure there is some law in the 77,000 pages of tax code that he has to have violated that will result in his incarceration. There are also GITMO and multiple Special Ops options that could be utilized.
Please Mr. Obama, we beg of you, do not let this continue!