use the full force of the Executive Branch to prohibit Subway Restaurants from adding pickles to sandwiches. It's weird.

A petition to prohibit the unnatural practice of adding sliced pickles to Subway sandwiches. Americans understand that pickles--if used at all in the sandwich-making process--are side items, best served accompanying potato chips as God intended them.

At most, sliced pickles are burger accoutrements, and they should only be near a black forest ham sandwich if: 1) in spear form, or 2) as a garnish.