We ask the federal government to get to the bottom of why Bert Kreischer is so fat? #bertisfat

This petition is important because Bert's massive weight is starting to affect the environment. In particular he is causing sea levels to rise by displacing the water whenever he goes to the beach. Furthermore, his massive weight could potentially cause tsunami's that could cause mass casualties throughout the world. These are a few of the many potentially disastrous threats that Bert Kreischer's fatness many cause if not addressed by Congress or the President of the United States. #bertisfat.