A lot of people have made a fuss over secession since the election. We have lost sight of the important issues facing this nation. We stand on the frontier of a truly bright future, but we have to seize the day when opportunity knocks. The president is about to embark on a new term of 4 years governing our great nation. The people should come together and compel president Obama to appoint this carbon rod to secretary of the department of interior.
Why is an inanimate carbon rod qualified to be the secretary of the department of interior? Well, this carbon rod went on a NASA mission in order to observe ant behavior in space. When things went awry on that mission, the carbon rod saved Homer Simpson, and the rest of the crew. He was also on the cover of Time Magazine. In Rod We Trust.