Zero Gravity Experiment

Although NASA funding has been cut, several alternative international space agencies may be of assistance. Greater than any other threat to our national security is the threat of Giorgio Tsoukalos's hair. The hair grows at an exponential rate and Tsoukalo is rapidly losing control of the situation. If no action is taken, the end of life as we know it is imminent, as the light of the sun will be blocked out. Research on how to stop this irascible growth is underfunded and needs to be our top priority. In the best interest of the safety of our nation and planet, I suggest conducting research in a zero-G environment, where this immensely important and dangerous experimentation can be kept as far away from the terrestrial population in case of cataclysmic results.